The Misadventures of Inner Sasuke
by MinaBlahBlahBlahAnimeFan
Summary: 'I am thinking of an anime character when the truck hits and my leg severs and my ribs crumble and my arm is no longer an arm but something... Well not an arm.' What happens when a Sakura fanboy enters the Naruto-verse. THIS IS MY SECOND TIME WRITING AS A BOY! DO NOT COMMENT ON HOW UNREALISTIC IT IS!


I am thinking of an anime character when the truck hits and my leg severs and my ribs crumble and my arm is no longer an arm but something... Well not an arm.

When you die, you should be thinking about sins. At the very least you should be counting them up or wondering why you didn't cross at the light, if not love.  
But you should not be thinking about Sakura Haruno.  
I listen as my bones shatter. It's not an horrifying cracking sound as I would have imagined, it's delicate. Like bells.

My last thought is that it would have been awesome if Sakura Haruno and Maka Albarn met.

-–—•㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9㈞9

Sasuke woke up, and all of a sudden things went wacky. There was this... _Thing_, that called itself his conscience. Oh my, could it be the after effects of the Event finally tearing at his mind?

**'Of course not. That would have happened along time ago would it not?'**

He groaned into his hand. The thing would not shut up.

**'I am not a thing. I am your true opinions and emotions about things.'**

But that doesn't make sense. Just because Sasuke does not voice his opinion as... Loudly as some others doesn't mean he does not have them.

**'Puh-leez you would have turned into an emotionally stunted, psychotic, rampaging maniac, going to missing nins for powers to defeat, _Him_. We both know that.'**

Sasuke was taken aback. He would not go that far. He wants to avenge his clan but, going to a missing nin? That was borderline insanity.

–-—•

Yes, I put _Him_. Because in Sasuke's head it is capitalized, italicized and underlined. It seems that is what Sasuke's life seem to be about. I think I might actually enjoy being in Sasuke's body. I mean, it's not like I've spent my life beating the girl back with a flaming torch. Plus, I will have _Sakura Haruno_ fawning over _me_. Gosh. I love that sentence.

I will have Sakura Haruno fawning over me. I will have _Sakura Haruno_ fawning over _me_. I will have _Sakura Haruno_ _fawning_ over _me_. _I will have Sakura Haruno fawning over me._ I will have _Sakura Haruno_ fawning over _me_. I will have _Sakura Haruno_ fawning over _me_. I will have _Sakura Haruno_ fawning over _me_. I will have _Sakura Haruno_ fawning over _me_. IwillhaveSakuraHarunofawningoverme. _IwillhaveSakuraHarunofawningoverme_.

That has got to be the most beautiful sentence I have ever heard. If you have not notice, -and you would have to be an idiot not to- I favor Miss Sakura. I am also a firm supporter in Anti-SasuSaku. So it kills me to be in this menaces body. Sasuke seems about twelve and the date on his calendar says it is early March. The circled date for gradation is passed and in one week there will be team assignments.

Sakura will still be a fangirl here. Meh, okay. I loved her since the minute I saw her(Yes, yes, you read that right, I loved the second most hated character in Naruto back in the dark ages. And yes I do stalk her online, in case you are wondering.). I remember when my friend Suki asked me why I liked her. I said, "I don't like her, what are you? Crazy? She's the love of my life, duh. I love Sakura , not because she's been made for the sake of a pairing. I love Sakura because she is so perfect with her imperfections that anyone, nowadays have."

Then she goes, "Remember that new episode? Well, it proves Hinata is soooo much better." Then I say: "Well if you read the manga and know she is the real Sakura. All that Anime did, was show Sakura as a fangirl and Hinata as the Naruto supporting one. Good enough with Hinata but Sakura and Naruto both noticed something in Sasuke that NO ONE else did." It still freaking boggles me. Why would they _not_ animate such an important part? But nope, let's make sure to have an unnecessary amount of Hinata attempting to cheer Naruto on because kami forbid they don't get their weekly quota of her!  
Sometimes it's really no wonder why some people hate Sakura, because the anime continues to trash over small but very important scenes! While Ino keeps being the fangirl, Sakura stops and sees what's happening.  
But of course, let's get past those small but important moments, shall we? It's not important to show that Sakura is _reasonable_, let's make Hinata look good. No I am not Hinata bashing I like her too. Just, not as much as everyone else. She is in the top forty five though.

Then this idiot goes,"W-well she hated him like everyone else!" Then I said: "You are freaking brain dead 'cause they _did_ put this in the anime. When Sakura appears in episode three we learn _why_ she dislikes Naruto. What's interesting here, is that Sakura doesn't like him because he gets in her way, she doesn't share the same reason as the rest of the villagers. She doesn't 'hate' him because he's the nine tailed fox child, her reasons are _totally_ different, she doesn't like him because he gets in her way of her daily quota of Sasuke, Sakura gets out of the general picture of the other villagers. She didn't care about him being the nine tailed fox kid, like the other children who were told by their parents not to get close to Naruto, to hate him that formed the general hate for Naruto. Sakura from the beginning had her own reason to dislike Naruto."

"Well your just a hater!" And let me get this straight I like Hinata, just not as much as Sakura. Like I said 'she is in the top forty five.' But I am getting of topic.

Fact: I love Sakura Haruno.

Fact: She is number three in my top forty five.

Fact: Maka Albarn still tops her.

Fact: Marie Mjölnir tops her but can't beat Maka in the top three.

I'm sure you can figure out the rest. Well, anyway a have a hell load of work to do if I want to make this guy bearable by the end of the week. I do have to make a good impression on Miss Sakura.

I do have to make a good impression on Miss Sakura.I do have to make a good impression on Miss Sakura.I do have to make a good impression on Miss Sakura.I do have to make a good impression on Miss Sakura.I do have to make a good impression on Miss Sakura.I do have to make a good impression on Miss Sakura.I do have to make a good impression on Miss Sakura. I do have to make a good impression on Miss Sakura. IdohavetomakeagoodimpressiononMissSakura.

Please wait a second while I swoon.

-–—•㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8㈞8

"WAKE THE HELL UP!" Sakura was startled out of bed by her mother.

**Jeez! We are up damn it!**

"Yeah, mom?" She sighed, putting on her qu

"Can you pick up some groceries?" Sakura thought for a moment. Sure, why not? She couple go shopping for some really cute clothes that would impress Sasuke-Kun.

"Sure!"

-–/

"How can you be out of bread?! Your a baker!" Sakura screeched, red in the face. The lady shifted, uncomfortable.

"We ran out-"

"DONT LIE SHANNARŌ! We ordered some THIS EVENING SO DONT LIE!"

"Miss, Please don't make such a ruckus." Sakura spun around, not recognizing the voice.

"DONT TELL ME WHAT...to... Sasuke-Kun?"

Sasuke-Kun...Sasuke-KunSasuke-KunSasuke-KunSasuke-KunSasuke-KunSasuke-KunSasuke-KunSasuke-Kun.

Her brain blew up. She. Had. Yelled. At. An. Uchiha. But Sasuke would understand, because they are friends even though they don't speak to each other much and-

**This is sad.**

Shut up, Inner, he would understand right?

"'Kun'?Do I know you?" Thats when her heart deflated.

"We're in the same class." She explained.

"But I don't talk to anyone in my class."

...

**That's true**

...

"Hopefully your not a fangirl, because I'm not interested in dating." And with that, all her night in shining armor fantasies were destroyed.

-–—•㈞9

'**Aww! Sakura's so cute! Aw! Sasuke! Sasuke! Look she's wearing twin braids!**' I swooned. He mentally groaned. He's been doing that a lot since I picked out something less Emo and broody. A white shirt and dark blue track pant. That was all I could get him to do. The menace is stubborn!

"We ran out-"

"DONT LIE SHANNARŌ! We ordered some THIS EVENING SO DONT LIE!" Sasuke arms relax slightly then I took over. (Whenever he relaxes himself I can Teiku Ova! Yes, I used a Fairy Tail reference.) I took a deep breath.

"Miss, Please don't make such a ruckus." She spun around and flared her nostrils.

'**Err-Mah-Gosh! She is so cute! Makes me want to kill her!'** Sasuke blinked.

_What?_

'**Its an expression you Teme! How can I know more than you when I only came here yesterday? Baka!**'

"DONT TELL ME WHAT...to... Sasuke-Kun?" Oh gosh I think I'm going to have a heart-attack. Her confused face is _sooo_ adorable! The she looked like she had a mini-heart attack.

'**Do you want one less fangirl**?'

_Hn_

'**I'ma take that as a 'yes'**' I put on a puzzled look."Ehh? 'Kun'?Do I know you?" Oh gosh, you can literally see her deflate. Her green eyes get duller and her skin looses a bit of its glow. Ow, my heart... It must be done. Don't worry heart, we'll be on the same team, shh.

"We're in the same class." She explained, looking like an abandoned puppy. Oh gosh, my HEART! The TORTURE!

"But I don't talk to anyone in my class." '**Dont even try to deny this Teme.**'

_Hn_.

"Hopefully your not a fangirl, because I'm not interested in dating."

'**... Is that the sound of her heart breaking? Or is it mine?**'

_Some guy across the street broke a beer bottle_.

**'IT'S AN _EXPRESSION_!**'

_Well, you don't need to yell_.

I swallowed. It looked like her soul left her body. "Well... Sorry for not paying attention to you before, um, wanna be friends?" I added, stressing the last word.

_The _hell_ are you _doing?!

**'But she looks so miserable! Like a kicked puppy.**'

Some of Sakura's color returned, her eyes got a teeny bit brighter. "Can I be your friend if I can't be you love interest? I really, _really_ like you Sasuke-Kun." Her eyes were all bright and hopeful like. Damn she's cute.

'**_How_ can you reject _her_? She's so adorable and sweet. Like a fluffy bunny... Fluffy, It's so fluffy I'm gonna die! IT'S SO _FLUFFAAAAAY!_**'

_What is wrong with you?_

'**You**.'

I turned to the store lady. "Can I get five loafs of corn bread?"

The lady came back out, "Why sure Uchiha-Kun! You know I have a daug-" I looked at Sakura. Her jaw was near hanging on the ground, she had an incredulous look on her face. She turned to the lady.

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT?!" She yelled. The lady paled.

"Um, well yes, but, Uchiha-Kun-"

"He what? I was here first so I should have it first!" She frowned. Yep still cute. I was curious though, what could make her so upset.

"What's wrong?"

"'What's wrong?'" She laughed bitterly. "I ordered three loafs or corn bread from here for a family dinner, and she said, 'oh, we ran out!' But here she is! Giving you FIVE! What's your deal, lady?" She turned to her.

"Well, that is a problem, I think the store around the corner sells a 'One Hour Great Cake&Bread' book, or something like that. Wanna check it out?" What? I like to bake. (I was the first boy of an all girl family and my dad was a piece of trash.) Sakura-**OMD she is _sosososososososoooooooo_ cute!**- grinned.

"Sure Sasuke-Kun!" And we walked away. The lady went out after us, crying fake tears.

"UCHIHA-KUUUN!" She stretched out after we left.

-–—•

"How about this one?"

"It doesn't have the recipe. Oh yeah, Sasuke-Kun! What's an artichoke heart?"

"No clue, look at this cake right here, doesn't it look good?"

"Mm, yeah, check out the Red Velvet right over here."

"Yeah, that's a good looking cake."

"Right?" So, here we are, chatting over cake, and I'm ready to pop The Question.

"So what do you do for training?"

"I have a race with Pig everyday." She answered simply, picking up a clothing magazine, eyes pausing over a pink and white kimono but moving when she saw the price. I stared.

"You can run in that dress*?" I asked incredulously.

"Uh-huh, my Ma had it made specifically like this, she said 'It's better to deceive than be deceived.' She wanted me to become a ninja so I can take care of her in old age if she can't find a boyfriend." Curious I asked,

"What about your dad?"

"Loser, deadbeat, good for nothing bum, cheater, liar, wastrel, Naruto with brown hair**, pick your synonym. Don't wanna talk about it." She paused looking at a pair of Tonfa. "Can I tell you a secret?" I leaned in, "I always wanted one of these but Ino said,'Maidens only rely on wits'***."

"Hmm, ok." I was surprised, if she can use Tonfa or maybe a Kama, she may beat Marie for second place in my favorites. I looked at the clock. Seven forty five. "Sorry Sakura! I have to go! Bye!" She smiled.

"Bye Sasuke-kun, oh, guess what?" She grinned.

"I can't guess, tell me." I repeated my wise elder sisters words.

"I've decided I'm gonna make you fall in love with me. You're never going to get rid of me, got it?" I stared, incredulous.

"Wut?"

"Bye Sasuke-Kun! I love you!" I blushed and covered my mouth.

**'Well, that could have gone better.'**

_I thought you were going to get rid of her_!

'**Her braids made weak at the sight of such cuteness!**' I thought as I let the duck-butt TEIKU OVA!

-–—•

**EXPLANATION PAUSE!**

*She seemed to move well enough in it Pre-Time Skip.

**Well think about! Kizashi is kinda like Ero-Sennin and Naruto! I'm just thinking Mebuki likes men along those lines and since her background is never explained I have to make up another reason since it's a key part in this story, plus, I very well can't put 'my mom told me not to speak to him' since she already said in canon that her reason is different.

*** She and Ino seemed to be obsessed with maidens since almost all their video game moves are named after some. Ex... Maidens explosive feelings(Ino hands someone flowers saying "Please, a token of love." Then runs like hell because the flowers have bombs.), Twinkling Maiden's Heart(Sakura smiles at her opponent before glaring and summoning her giant inner self. Inner Sakura yells "I'm speaking from the heart!" as she punches her opponent. The screen shatters, revealing it all to have been a genjutsu and Sakura herself punched her opponent. The foe flies off into the distance. Sakura smiles and says "You should be nice to girls."), Medical Maiden Shock Wave(Tsunade and Sakura concentrate on performing the Cherry Blossom Impact, crushing the ground, which damages everything surrounding the two users in a very long distance.) Maiden's Anger Mode(Her awaking)

**EXPLANATION COMPLETE ON WITH THE STORY**

-–—•

Duck butt hasn't gotten any better. But he got use to me, I found him a bit more bearable. And today, I shall... Be on Sakura's team! So anyway, the Teme decided it would be fun to go to the academy _THREE HOURS EARLIER_ than when we were supposed to get there. I was _sooo_ bored! Finally three hours later humans started to trickle in. Bad news, they were all no names who... Is that...

Asakura Hao? What, nope. Oops, it's a... random no name! Then came Naruto and Sakura(swoon) and Ino. Then Sasuke and Naruto kissed, Naruto got beaten to a pulp and Sakura sat next to... Shikamaru? It's like watching my ninth favorite Sakura pairing come to life. Then Iruka called team and Sakura kept stealing glances and when I finally caught her I had Sasuke stick out his tougnh to witch Sakura turned away and blushed. I can't feel the stares I'm getting. Not from the fangirls(Which are awesome, BTW) but from the all the smart guys who are questioning my sanity.

"Naruto... Sakura..." Excited 'whoop!' here, Depressed groan there.

"Sasuke... Next team..." Excited 'whoop!' There, Depressed groan here.

I think this will be fun.

-–—•

**What? I've always wanted to try one o'these.**


End file.
